I have never been so lost in my life. I am graduating FIT this month, with no plans, no direction, no nothing. I suppose, I move back home, get a mediocre job, try to finish school?

I feel as if I need to get out of New York and start a brand new life. I have been quiet the changer but I feel as if I have royally fucked my life. I have nobody. I have nothing. I strive day to day to make my boyfriend the happiest boy. And I achieve and I am quiet satisfied with my improving progress. Although, it' only half. I change, he remains.

I need to get out of my body. I have nothing. nothing. nothing. I cry daily due to the deep depression I have officially fell into. No escape, no nothing. I keep holding on to absolutely nothing. And I am so unsure what to do. My body is totally failing, nothing makes me happy. Everyone is either fake or a liar.

My tears are nothing but a constant flowing river that never suffers a drought. Nobody understands. I need to pick up and leave, I need to get out of here. Or maybe out of me.