big black

I undressed you with my eyes i have
Maybe even raped you
In a dark and eerie corner of my mind
I tucked you there
And touched you in a dream last night
Pushed you aside when you entered
My thoughts at the wrong time
I have sat up upon your lap and
Saddled my thighs around your hips like ropes
I rode you on a chair and in the shower
And all the while i clung heavy to your back
My desire deeply harnessed in your spine
I'm riding recklessly though a thick and humid
Jungle growing anxious with the deep and primal
Yearning that stirs
Deeply pulsing up toward the surface
Like sap rising or honey or tar

Let's see. I keep losing pounds, they just don't seem to like to stay on my body. Which is totally understandable. My piercings keep coming in and out. An emotional attachment, grow up. My eyes are very tired even though I sleep all day. My nights are long, ending in the early morning. Never a designated sleeping arrangment. I like to sleep. My eyes are very heavy. I concentrate a lot on my surroundings. Usually the sunshine. I like my city.

I had a drinking binge this week. I danced/drank like usual. Did some. Had some, etc. I arrive late places because I am never ontime. My drinking. Lots of drinks yet, I saw some very important people. Some starz, bffz, rockland county buddies, etc. I don't like being trapped by people or forced. I don't think its fair. I do like free things though. And hugs. And sex in the backseat of YOUR car. I don't like big black buzzy flies that appear out of thin air.

I want to fall inlove. And when it happens, it never to ever end. I think thats all.