30

It was 54 and 9th. And than to 8th. Well the corner of 54th and 8th. I walk at a fast pace, always. I had my ipod in my ears, getting loose. House music, yes. New music, yes. From the corner of my oversized glasses, I saw a man, catching up. First thought, attractive. Second thought, uh? Third thought- 

"do you have a cigerrate?"

(in my head OBV. Smoking. DUH)

"yes"

He walks with me. He talks. I flaunt. He talks. He talks. He talks. He talks. The usual where are you from. New York City is small, eh. Everyone knows EVERY part of the city. Every borough. Everyone use to work there or spent the night there, etc. It's small. One step, two step, there. Regardless, I flaunt. The corner approaches and I have a subway to catch. The E. Downtown.

"how bout you come out with me for a beer?"

First thought, your sexy. Second thought, I love beer. Third thought, subway. I attempt to tell him that school is the priority and maybe some other time. No is not the answer. Numbers exchange. He's sexy. SURE. He texts me, I'm invincible. He's 30. Why wouldn't he be. Older men seem to be the trend lately. For me atleast. In little New York City.

I'm not really attracted to men lately. The attention is sweet. No more one night stands. They're silly. Emotions should never be played with. I'm just not ready yet. But I've never been so aroused. It's beautiful. Stability. Youth. Confidence. Life, love today. It's beautiful. I crush, I have crushes. Crushes with big beautiful smiles. Your brightness. The only crime was he had a beard. Someday you will find love. Don't rush it. Get to know it. Get comfortable with it. Than maybe it will stay awhile. I'm convinced. That everyone FINDS the one. You will. I will. I'm boy crazy, I'm young. I shine. We shine. It's always sunny. My life doesn't slip when your not in it. There are finer things. There will always be finer things. Other people should never control the way you feel. People come and go, but YOU always stay. You are who you are. I am only a woman. I like that. I'm over being eighteen. I use to say that 'I'm just trying to be 18'. But now I'm just striving to be 19. 19. On the edge of 18.